I Never Told You
by St. Berry 4
Summary: Why didn't she just tell him? Set after 'Bad Reputation'


She had screwed up. Not just in a little way, but in a major not-so-quick to fix way.

Rachel didn't realize until the moment Jesse whispered, "_You broke mine first"_, just how much he meant to her. Sure, Finn still had a place in her heart, but little by little that place had somehow shifted to that of someone she saw as a best friend. No longer did she feel as though Finn was who she needed to be with. Instead, Jesse had taken his place and now she didn't know whether or not she'd ever see him again. At least not in the way she wanted.

Regionals were coming up so if he didn't return to New Directions, she'd see him competing with Vocal Adrenaline, but what she wanted was to see him smiling at her. The complete adoration shining in those blue eyes of his as they sang together. She missed so much about him since he'd left for his former school's spring break, to hang out with friends that she would be competing against soon. It made her wonder if he was even going to come back or maybe he'd realize that Rachel Berry just wasn't worth the trouble, like everyone else seemed to think.

All these thoughts and more seemed to overwhelm her as she walked down the now almost empty halls at McKinley High.

She was headed for the auditorium. She needed to get her feelings out and what better way to do it than singing them out.

After a quick check to make sure no one was around, Rachel sat at the piano. '_Jesse plays so much better than I do,'_ she thought to herself as she touched the keys. She'd never told anyone that she could play piano, but then again no one had ever asked her if she had any other talents outside singing either. She also had never told Jesse that her favorite thing next to his singing was how beautifully he played piano. There seemed to be a lot of things she never managed to tell him.

Taking a deep breath to, hopefully, calm her emotions, Rachel began to sing.

_I miss those blue eyes_

She thought again to the way Jesse looked at her as she began singing. To the gorgeous shade of blue his eyes were.

_How you kiss me at night_

This line wasn't completely right in the way she felt about his kisses because she didn't just miss the ones at night time. She missed any and every type of kiss from him.

_I miss the way we sleep_

_Like there's no sunrise_

Maybe it was a sign, losing her voice this week. Maybe a lesson in appreciating what you have and not taking it for granted.

_Like the taste of your smile_

He really did have one of the best smiles and she loved how sometimes right as he was about to kiss her, he'd smile or laugh at something she'd just done, and she could feel the smile still lingering there as his lips touched hers.

_I miss the way we breathe  
_

Somehow when they sang, their breathing seemed to synchronize. Just like the time they sang _Hello_ in the library and she'd felt him inhale and move the exact way she did and then exhaling the chorus in the same way.

_But I never told you  
What I should have said  
No, I never told you  
I just held it in_

She stopped playing, staring at her fingers that still rested on the keys.

"Why didn't I just tell him?" Rachel asked herself. _'Because you're afraid.' _She heard her conscience saying.

Was she? Was she, Rachel Berry, really afraid of telling a boy how much he meant to her. The thought seemed so foreign to her. She wasn't afraid of saying anything to anyone. In fact she was so brutally honest with people at times that it often ended with a slushy in her face or yet another person disliking her.

So why then, would she be scared of Jesse St. James?

It's not like he'd start hating her, if he didn't already after the _Run Joey Run_ incident, or throwing slushies in her face. He thought people who did that were talentless idiots whose only reason for doing such a hateful thing was due to their jealousy of said person receiving a slushy facial.

Rachel's head snapped up from staring at the keys and her eyes widen. She was scared because she didn't think Jesse felt the same way. She may care about him so deeply it hurt at times to think about, but she had no way of knowing if he returned those feelings, and that terrified her. She knew he liked her, but how much he cared, how deeply that affection towards her ran was what she didn't know.

'_And now' _She thought slightly horrified, _'I may never actually know.'_

"How could I have been so stupid?" She asked herself for what seemed to be the hundredth time. "Why didn't I see it?"

Miserably, she leaned forward resting her head atop the piano as tears filled her eyes. As the first tear fell she brokenly whispered, "Jesse, I love you."

A minute or so passed when suddenly music was coming from the piano again. A familiar tune that knocked the little air she had managed to keep, through her quiet sobs, right from her body. She froze wondering if this was a dream. That if she lifted her head to look at the person playing, he'd actually be there. Within the next few seconds she knew it wasn't one though. _His voice_ never sounded that real in her dreams. Lifting her head from the piano finally, she turned to look at him.

_Tell me how to win your heart_

_For I haven't got a clue_

_But let me start by saying_

He let the notes fade off there and stopped playing silently gazing at her and all Rachel could think was, _'He's here, he's really here'_.

"Jesse, I" He stopped her from what she was about to say with a finger to her lips.

Slowly, he brought his other hand up and held her face between both of them. He didn't say anything and Rachel was starting to get confused and scared all at the same time. She could feel the tears starting to resurface behind her eyes again and fought desperately to keep them at bay. She had just screwed her eyes shut to prevent her tears from falling when she felt Jesse's forehead against her own and her eyes snapped back open, finding the blue ones she had missed so much staring into her own.

"Rachel," Jesse said, and she realized just how much she missed hearing his voice, "I love you too."

And then he was kissing her and she finally let her tears fall as she gripped his wrists, feeling his thumbs lightly brushing against her cheeks in hopes of stopping her tears.

When he finally pulled away, she was gasping for breath and staring at him again. It only took a second before she was hurling herself straight into his arms again, forgetting they were on a piano bench, knocking them both on the auditorium stage floor. She had a million questions for him, but could only manage to get one out.

"How did you know where to find me?"

Jesse smiled. "Because I know you," he was still smiling as he leaned in to kiss her again, "and as I said, I love you."

There was the kiss with that lingering smile she loved so much.

"I missed you," She said pulling away slightly and resting a hand on his cheek, "I missed you so much."

"I'm here," he said rubbing her back before pulling them to their feet, "And I'm not going anywhere."

Childishly she looked up and him through huge eyes and asked, "Promise?"

He laughed before pulling her in the same way he did the first time they were on a stage together back at Carmel high. Like last time he put a hand on her cheek and reassured her.

"I promise."

Sinking in to his hold and smiling softly, she sang the last line of their song back to him.

_I love you_


End file.
